I resent it. For people living in zones of armed conflict, it does pay to be invisible. Nothing better than to dress plainly, act mildly, speak softly to avoid unwanted attention. Mark D. Back Psychology Today. Back Find a Therapist. Back Get Help. Back Magazine.
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The charismatic one.
The Gift of Being Invisible | Lisa Fabrega
Plenty of people have not wanted to be my friend and plenty have just plain not liked me. But what I did always have was the ability to flip a switch in a room full of people and attract the people into my life that I desired to attract: business relationships, suitors or friends. Slowly I began to notice that I could walk in crowds and crowds of people and not a single person would look into my eyes or notice me. Men stopped asking me out. In fact, not a single man asked me out or expressed romantic interest in me in two years. I inexplicably gained 40 pounds, even though I was eating the same healthy way I had always eaten.
I started to feel incredibly unattractive. I began to compare myself to every woman in the room and find all the reasons why she was more beautiful internally and externally than me , more deserving of love, more intelligent, more interesting and more sparkly. I was the dull, dark thing gathering dust under the bed, where most seldom want to look.
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In conversations, I had been used to people always wanting to know what I had to say and that was no longer the case. I have lost count of the amount of times over the last two years when I was out to dinner or at an event where one question was asked of everyone present and I was accidentally skipped over every.
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I started to lose my voice in the world. My social media account, on which I had always been visible and outspoken, lost its power of exposure. I lost a lot of business when my Facebook profile became inexplicably invisible to most of my audience after the algorithm changes took effect. When I could no longer stand it, I visited a powerful astrologer to find out what the heck was happening to me.
I had never felt so alone and depressed. That moment and his subsequent explanation of what that meant, changed everything for me.
While other planets are the joyous, happy-go-lucky planets that bring good times with them everywhere they go, Saturn is that serious looking, stern looking grandfather in the corner, looking right through you and all of your bullshit. Saturn is the speaker of Truth. He pulls you into depth, unashamedly. Saturn stands there, relentlessly holding up a mirror to all of the things inside of you that you have not wanted to see about yourself.
All of the ways you BS yourself, all of the ways you need external validation to define who you are, all of the false labels you give yourself to avoid seeing your real Self. Saturn prefers that you do. All the time. Until you can see beyond that. He shows you there is no meaning to life other than the one we create. That you are a small, meaningless ant in the enormity of the cosmos.
So naturally, Saturn shone the mirror on all of my egoic attachments. All of the labels I had given myself over the years and so strongly identified my being-ness with. He stripped me of all of my labels until I realized that I was much more than the labels, masks and egoic attachments I had piled on over the years. I became more serious.
More introspective. I noticed that I made people uncomfortable with my seriousness. You ARE worthy. You just are. So, I became a bit of a social pariah. Conversations were awkward as I was no longer good at small talk or pretending.
How to Stop Being Invisible
Truth be told, I lost count of the nights I spent lying in my bed feeling like I would cave in upon myself with loneliness. I felt as if I had gone mute, deaf and blind and lived in a cocoon. A caterpillar does not become a butterfly until she is ready. While the caterpillar is in the cocoon she literally dissolves herself into a dark brown goo. You cannot open up the cocoon before its time or the goo will leak out and the butterfly will never be born.
You cannot bypass the mess to get to the brightly colored wings and the flying part. In the same manner—every time I tried to push my way out of the Saturnian cocoon or go back to getting external validation to soothe my ego, it backfired and would not happen.
After I spoke with my astrologer, I realized, that Saturn was here to stay for 2 years and that, as it is with all hard things, I could either surrender and open to the lessons it had for me or fight it every step of the way and sorely lose. I faced the fear my ego had of completely disappearing—that fear that She had been kicking and screaming against for months… and I let go.